Teachers — Season 3

A new teacher, Lindsay, arrives at the school and Brian finds himself getting along with her exceptionally well - until Kurt points something out to him.

Penny's self-obsession and self-pity have reached dizzying new heights. She's driving everyone insane - everyone who's still talking to her, anyway. Bored to tears with listening to Penny's moaning, Lindsay finally cracks.

Kurt resolves to give up smoking when he meets a woman at a parents evening. However, can the lure of sex be enough of an incentive to give up?

Thrown out of his own house so his wife can move her new young boyfriend in, Bob's life is in tatters. He's been reduced to setting up home in his office, his clothes are decaying on his back, he's barely coping with his job and there's a lingering odour hanging around him that even showers in the school gym can't shift. For the first time in her hard-hearted life, Liz looks at this dishevelled wreck and takes pity on him.

Lindsay's about to be 30 and that's fine by her. Fine, that is, until everyone else helpfully points out that 30 is in fact very old. Her life as she knows it is practically over. Lindsay's is thrown into turmoil. What's the best way to handle being 30, grow old with grace and start acting your age, or to go completely the other way?

With half the staff signed off with stress and the other half becoming even more stressed as a result, Clare assigns each staff member a stress partner - which seems to suit Matt and Lindsay very well, to Penny's chagrin.

Something sinister is in the air. Lindsay is the first to notice a bearded stranger lurking by the school's perimeter fence, but it turns out he may not be a stranger after all.

The English department is left without a head when Bob is taken in for emergency surgery, and Clare decides that Matt is the ideal choice to act as Bob's replacement. An unwilling Matt steps up, reassuring Penny and Simon that he has no intention of being a boss.

In the pub, the teachers all start to get depressed that not one of them is in a functional relationship when Liz points out the obvious; Brian and Kurt are clearly as good as married. They live together, work together, and go out together, it's the perfect relationship.

Lindsay is in trouble. Students have complained about her, parents have complained about her and not taking those complaints seriously has resulted in a formal warning. Desperate to keep her job, radical action is needed. She's going to transform herself into `super-teacher' - with a bit of help from unlikely guru Bob.

Brian's obsessed with dinner lady Eileen, and when she asks him out, he realises that he has no idea about how to talk to or interact with women socially. Suddenly Brian realises that he doesn't have a clue how to behave - what are you supposed to talk to women about?

When Brian and Kurt race each other to school, Kurt's desire to win results in injury. Brian's attempts to administer first aid only serve to make things worse and Kurt ends up in a wheelchair. Embarrassed, helpless, and most of all furious, Kurt is absolutely determined that if he has to suffer then Brian's going to suffer too.

There's definitely something in the air: Penny's started a new romance, Clare's getting frisky, and in a drunken moment Matt and Lindsay find themselves snogging. Completely shocked with themselves, there's only one thing to do; pretend it never happened.